too much to handle.

你有比我更累吗？
... how do you measure 'tired'?

idk. recently.. i seem to have a communication kind of problem with my parents. they dont seem to understand the kind of life i'm trying to lead. they dont seem to understand the struggle between juggling.

it upsets me when i'm struggling with proj till 4am.. then my parents come telling me.. "you know got projects to do and why still work?"

or.. "dont understand why you choose to juggle."

i am trying very hard to strike a balance. ofcause, it's inevitable to have a fall sometimes. i admit, sometimes it rly has to do with my time management. but it's on rare occasions.
they forgot the fact that i'm living off myself. they forgot the fact that i rly do want to be independent in terms of financially. they forgot the fact that i'm going to be semi-legal age this year.

(shouldnt they feel a lil proud that their daughter is trying to lessen their load?! at least, i feel esp proud of myself on paydays.. when i know that i've enough to spend for the mth.)

..... they forgot that some of their words do hurt.. and i took them to heart too.
not showing dont mean.. 我不会难过，我不介意。

sometimes the words just hurts. “你自己把自己搞得这么累的。谁叫你累了还要做工?” cant they appreciate the fact that.. i dont wana them to work so hard just to support me.. thats why i'm working and studying? cant they NOT pour cold buckets of water on me?

just a lil understanding will do.. and being the middle child sucks too. esp since i'm not a good gal at all.. anything, i kena.

just a lil more confidence in me will do.. i may not be the best but.. definitely not the worst.
there's so many other issues bothering me now.

......it's too much to type.